Gift: Dont cry brother...

This is a special gift with special people in the pic for Creation7X24 
this took 51 layers to use its alot..i wasnt feelin my self..but i tried me 
best to keep my friends happy no matter what im going through...either Family problem
or internet i do try my best to have people be happy with a smile on there face
even though i am sad for people who is hurt by someone a special gift will make them 
happy..

but im never gonna be happy i did for friends not myself...been in a drama in 
skype..and well..feeling like i cause..problem..i maybe be nice to new people..
but i hide the feelings inside to prevent...it but i couldnt..so ya...my attitude is 
getting worse...by the minute..i dont wanna take depression medication or anything..
my mom hates it about pills some pills are useful but some pills are not..but i dont think..

i should be talking about medication..because its not an excuse..its just me..
i guess reason..people...want me to take some kind of medication but i dont want...
but ya im also planning to live but.. idk....it kinda hurts this morning because i have 
been sobbing in loneliness...because im the only person with out a real life friends..
i know i should go out..but..im just a shy person in real life...*sighs*...

sorry for this long description i shouldnt be talkin about it..
so ya hope ya like it...